10 Basic Ways To Teach Kindness To Your Child (Even As Young As 3 years old)

As parents, how can we teach a child kindness? How can we let them see the importance of empathy, compassion, and consideration? At what age do we start teaching kindness?

The world right now has become a saddening, threatening environment, and people can be cruel sometimes. Honestly, it can be terrifying out there. How much more to a child. By teaching kindness, we contribute to make the world a better place, one step at a time.

We can’t perfectly shield our children from matters of the real world. However, we can teach them how to live in a meaningful and purposeful way. So it all comes down to what and how we teach them at home, how they grasp the lesson, and how they exhibit it through their own ways. 

People, in general, aren’t born kind. Although we have the natural capacity to be, children need guidance learning this core value. We confidently try to instill this value in our children in any way we can today.

To accomplish that, we have to define what kindness means and explain why it’s important to our children. Start early and use words that a child can understand.

Why Kindness is a Key-Value?

Its importance lies within the foundation that a child can be taught kindness. The child can learn empathy towards others. The one lesson that covers a lot.

Kindness is giving oneself to help others without expecting anything in return. What’s more important than being of service to others? Of being considerate and thoughtful? 

Empathy can help promote kindness in your child. It is the main value for which kindness springs forth. A child develops empathy starting at home. Learning through feelings and emotional effects towards parents or siblings, he/she develops the ability to respond accordingly.

It will take practice and guidance from you for a child to hone in on this core value. Once learned, it becomes part of who your child is.

Moreover, it will help your child during social interactions with other children and adults. It can also mean building connections with others outside the home.

According to the Parents Values Study in 2020; “We polled more than 1,000 moms and dads of young children to find out what they want for their kids today and tomorrow – and what hurdles they face in making that happen. Here are the surprising responses.”

“73% of moms rank kindness as the quality they most hope to instill in their children—more than intelligence (51%) or a strong work ethic (51%).”

Also, “50% of moms believe the most important task of parenthood is showing a child how to be compassionate and kind, placing these above kids learning to be their authentic selves (28%), becoming successful high achievers (16%), or possessing intelligence (6%). Only 38% believed that kindness was what their own parents felt was most important.”

“76% of moms and 58% of dads believe today’s kids are less kind than those of past generations, pointing to bullying, too much tech, and entitlement as reasons for the shift.”

Looking at those poll results, kindness takes the number one spot for what parents want for their children.

Ways to Teach Kindness to your Child

By far, this list includes the methods I’ve used and continue to use in helping my children learn kindness and show empathy.

Lead by example.

Parents need to model the behavior every day. Being kind and compassionate to yourself and others. Children learn through direct experiences. They learn how parents interact with other people and how parents interact with kids.

Modeling kindness – you become mindful of your words and actions around and outside the home. Teaching this trait through living it every day is a concrete example for your child to witness. It doesn’t require perfection on your part to be able to show what kindness is all about.

If you only preach and do not practice kindness, there’s no point in delving deeper. It will only confuse a child. The key to success in coaching kindness to a child is the utmost willingness of a parent to teach the behavior through communication, connections which are accompanied by heaps of patience.

Be confident that your child is capable of Kindness.

Children see kindness all around. In school, church, supermarket, park, hospitals, home, etc. Find an opportunity for a child to be kind. 

Your child needs to practice caring for others. He/she also needs to develop an attitude of gratitude for the kindness shown towards them. Believe that one way or another, your child will grasp the lesson of kindness and be able to exhibit it.

Whenever an act of kindness is done, praise your child. Give positive feedback to encourage the behavior. As well as encourage her/him to be proud of the kind behavior and appreciate them showing kindness.

Explore your child’s feelings.

Parenting involves sitting down and exploring the emotions of a child. It can be started as early when a child is developmentally ready.

Help your child express emotions with no judgment. Affirm your child’s feelings. Recognizing emotions is the first step in learning to be kind.

When they know how they feel after a person does or says something, they’ll be able to take in the effects of their own actions and words to others. In return, they’ll learn they can also affect other people in their lives.

A question for your child; how would you feel if it happened to you too? Telling your child to put himself in someone else’s shoes is one way to present the concept of understanding how someone feels in a given situation. The child’s answer can give you an indication of the progression of the daily lessons of kindness.

As a parent, you can talk about your feelings. Have an open conversation with your children or a quick talk when something has happened. This invites them to talk freely and openly to you as well.

Learning Kindness through Books and Movies.

Reading books depicting kindness can open up learning and exploration on the topic. Read aloud with your toddler or do guide reading with your early readers. Watching a movie together that shows emphasis on kindness is another way to illuminate the subject.

After each reading, or show allow open ended questions, and start summarizing the main points of the story/plot together. Take this opportunity to explore your child’s thoughts and feelings. Emphasize the lessons of being kind and empathetic.

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♦ Some books you can check out to read with your child:

1. I Can Be Kind by Jessica Pippins
2. I am Kind by Daniela Owen
3. Kindness is my Superpower by Alicia Ortego

To be inclusive of others.

Teaching about differences and individuality. To show respect for a person’s uniqueness and culture. We live in a diverse world, and for a child to accept that, it’s easier to impart the lessons of being inclusive.

We kindly broaden our circle. Being inclusive isn’t only for pursuant of moral obligation but also the improvement of our lives. Additionally, it helps to bridge connections and solidify relationships. It is reaching out to people without judgment.

♦ The bullying experience.

Particularly, bullying has been a long-time matter on school grounds. Bullying doesn’t only happen in middle school, high school, or elementary. It also happens in early school. Yes, young children in the early formative years are exposed to it as well.

A preschooler being picked on by the same child due to the color of her hair. A kindergartner getting out of the bus with a sad face because a group of children made fun of him every day. These situations can happen or so much more.

According to American Psychological Association, “Bullying is aggressive behavior that is intentional and involves an imbalance of power or strength. It is a repeated behavior and can be physical, verbal, or relational.” 

Knowing what bullying means can help them understand what it is and discourages the behavior. Help your child learn methods to handle bullying and support her/him at home.

Being a victim of bullying can awfully scar a child. Furthermore, a child’s mental health is at risk when repetitive bullying is experienced. Yes, some children show resilience to it, yet those children can also reach their breaking point. What about the ones with no adequate support?

When bullying occurs in school, children are scared to take a stand. The fear of becoming the target or being excluded can affect how they interact with others. They need to know that they will have support when they stand up for others.

Speaking up for others, that are bullied can bring about change. Extending kindness towards the ones who are hurt due to bullying can create lasting friendships in children.

A gentle reminder every day to be kind goes a long way for the child to extend care and compassion to anyone. As a parent, you can also take on a major role in helping schools tackle bullying in general. Moreover, parents can partner with teachers in creating follow-through solutions with any bullying situation.

Teach your child to do Acts of Kindness (to self and others).

Finding the joy of helping others and the power to influence other people to do the same. A quick video about How to Change the World with Kindness by randomactsofkindness explains it in a short, simple way.

Kindness to others can include siblings, parents, schoolmates, neighbors, relatives, or even strangers. Being innately kind doesn’t discriminate against anyone. When care is expressed, you give rise to caring. Kindness inspires genuine compassion and care.

Learn to read people’s faces.

There’s no better way to learn how to be kind than recognizing the feelings of others. People’s faces show a degree of affirmation of what they’re currently feeling.

Playing takes a prime role in a child’s social development. Through play, this is an area where your child can naturally develop empathy and kindness. A window of teaching opportunity from the way a child plays with others and the way they respond to the emotions of everyone involved.

When a child sees someone crying in the playground, it’s not expected of her/him to rush and comfort the other child. However, if she/he learned that showing concern and asking how the other child is can convey that she/he cares – that’s kindness.

Also, when your child runs to you and asks why the other child in the playground is crying, he/she is trying to understand what the crying child is feeling.

If you witnessed the scene that precipitated the situation, you have an edge to solidify the lesson by explaining to your child what happened and why the child might be feeling that way. Bonus, your child is feeling concerned towards the other child.

Write notes of Kindness.

Writing notes to other people is one way to teach kindness and thoughtfulness to your child. Sending someone a note of thanks, a letter of apology, words of encouragement, or a feel-better note.

♦ How to Make a Homemade Thank You Card:

Gather the Materials:

Card Stock

Decorative Scissors

Crayons

Pencil

Glue

Stickers

Double-ended Sharpie Pen

Envelope (8.5 x 5.5 Inches)

Learn through Donating or Volunteering

You can do this as a family activity of extending hands to others. Your child can round up all the clothes he/she’s grown out of and place them in a give-away box. Take them to a shelter where kids might need the clothes or donation centers.

This gesture can be duplicated with books, games, toys, etc. It can be old or new items – that’s for sure going to make someone smile. If there’s a community outreach in the neighborhood, lend a hand and participate with your child.

If you have abundant resources and time, you can coordinate a family outreach mission to a chosen community. The options of caring and sharing are unlimited.

Family Rule: Be Kind

One of the highly regarded lessons in families is being kind. Be kind today – is a constant reminder I give to my children every day. I asked them – in what way were you kind today? This helps them think about their actions and spoken words.

Consistent focus on this important value at home will strengthen the confidence in your child. When the emphasis is given, your child will appreciate his/her actions every moment kindness is practiced daily. Your child will feel happy, less anxious, and more considerate of others.

In addition, a child who is kind to himself is most likely kind towards others. Cultivate the lesson of self-care early on. Give the example of caring for oneself by showing that you as a parent perform in your daily life. Walk the talk is what truly matters in the eyes of a child.

The responsibility to pass on this value is to teach kindness to your child.

Home is where it all starts. When gifts of kindness and empathy are present in a child, we are not only promoting the importance of caring for others but also, it’s also promoting positive emotions within.

Teach your child kindness and see the rippling effect it does in his/her life as he/she grows. Your child can be kind in many ways. The impact of kindness in the lives of others is surmounted. No amount of kindness is ever wasted, that’s for sure.

And as you continue to teach kindness to your child, you are also reaping the benefits of being kind as well. Together you and your child can touch as many lives as you walk hand in hand, showing kindness to everyone.

RELATED POST: The Benefits of Kindness For Kids

Are you raising a kind child? What are the methods you used to teach kindness? I’d love to hear in the comments. Please share this post.